That effffff word

بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

'Don't fear failure so much  that you refuse to try new things.  The saddest summary of life contains 3 descriptions ; could have, might have and should have'    -Anonymous

that efffff word; Fear.

true that. Too often, we allow fear, worry, doubt to dominate and define our lives. We allow them to steal our joy, our sleep and our precious dream. so, I made up my mind, very young (25 is still considered young ok), that I would push forward no matter what.

If you want to know happiness and realize your dreams, you have to be willing to take a leap of faith, despite being afraid.

I am a girl with big dreams. I have so many things that I wish to do, I wish to achieve, I wish of so many things, my brain keep on manufacturing ideas, but deep down I fear of myself whether I could get to that point and achieve what I want. Too often we hold back and play it safe, in order to avoid becoming successful, feeling embarrassed, looking silly, being hurt and facing rejection or possible failure. and I have all that fear inside me. 

We cling to fear from our childhood, traumatic experiences and the negative media, eg movies and even the laughter of our own friends of how absurd and ridiculous our dreams or wishes. 

Now, I am struggling to acknowledge, face, dissolve and conquering my own fear! 

Strategies to GET THERE!

1.Be positive. it's magic!

Make it dominant in your mind. You can't live a positive life with a negative mind. Positive thinking is not about expecting the best to happen, but accepting that whatever happens is the best for that moment. so keep calm and stay positive!

2. Encouragement from my family and friends. 

Family can see the strength inside us when we forget that we have it. At my request, they don’t hesitate to remind me of all trials and triumphs we have come through. They’re generous with praise and encouragement.  and I have tons of supportive friends that I treasure. I know, even though some of them are distance away, whispering du'a and prayers is one way of how we get connected. 

 

3. Don't give time, attention, or energy to fear. 

Fear, its poisonous mind, which was once an appropriate reaction to real and present danger, is now the reaction to any imagined negative outcome. Fear is mostly a product of OUR OWN IMAGINATIONS, almost always without any true basis in reality. We fear failure. We fear success. We fear the future. We fear the past. We fear possible scenarios with only a shred of evidence to lead us there. The more we think about what we fear, the more we feed the fear. Then fear begins to control us, limit us, and ultimately overtake us. Stop it! Be fearless!

4. Get comfortable with fear

Invite fear into life. When fearing something, move toward it.  Feel it, and breathe through it. Do the things that frighten you. Action builds courage. keep reminding myself “This fear will pass.” Your world expands as your courage expands.

5. Live vicariously through the victories of other? No, from vicarious to VICTORIOUS LIVING! =) 

So, by definition , vicarious means, 'indirect, surrogate, substitute' , so whooo wants to live a 'substitute' life? You wanna live your own life right? 

Sometimes when i went through some fb photo comments, where people commenting ,'ohh i'm sitting here and live vicariously, through other people's adventure. I'm not saying that it's not good to say that;  IT IS GOOD IF you are inspired and get off the couch, and just go after what you want, or achieve towards what you wish to experience. But if you just sitting in front of your lappy without doing nothing, that is not it!

i love inspiration. I believe it is important to the human spirit, like vitamins and supplements, which are essential to the human body. But unlike food, we must be able to internally generate at least portion of our recommended daily allowance of inspiration. Depend too much on external factors and we soon become dependent and addicted to outside sources as a shadow substitute. 

“I’ve become inspired to have more adventure in my life, to get off the couch and go after what I want and live my life with gusto!”

I think i realized something in my life, something about the human experience. I think, specifically, we have a tendency to live through other people's stories rather that take the risk of having our own adventure. it implies to many expect. even in our journey of worshiping Allah.

It dawned on me that perhaps there are multiple reasons why people live vicariously. That perhaps there are good and bad reasons to do this. I have some reasons that implies in my life, my good reasons to enjoy the vicarious experience

...for example, 

- to be happy for someone else, - i have so many supportive friends who are always happy when i did some crazy stuff. and i am beyond happy if they do the same as well. Sharing the feelings of being on top of the world is just mesmerizing and wonderful. i am grateful to have these precious friends.

-you're not ready to do it coz it's too extreme, and there's no way i'm going to ever try that :: yeahh i have these kinda feeling when i watch this video ; 

Wingsuit flying ; giler tahap moksya

I completely admire the courage and their stupidity, (LOL) that drives these people to those extremes, but i know that i'm not going to do it anytime soon. I can enjoy a rush of adrenaline living the experience second hand, but not do it myself :P

-i physically can't do it. At this point in my life, i'm never going to be an Olympic gymnast or World Champion Badminton hahaha. Face the fact. i enjoy watching Lin Dan and Chong Wei on world stage, and Wong Mew Choo which is very known with her exceptional stamina, but face it Fatimah Zaharah, i am nowhere to that point. in my younger years, i didn't make the choice to dedicate my life to becoming an Olympian and the time has past for that but there's nothing wrong living it directly through the up and coming stars, right? 

All those a great reasons to enjoy vicarious living, as long as you don't spend your whole life living vicariously and never step out to you own adventurous life. However, if you live your life through someone else's eyes for some of the reasons below, you may want to stop and think about where you're going in your own life

FEAR?  hmm, back to the above points...

PROCRASTINATION? which probably comes back to fear in some sense. we used to say, hmm 'someday, or 'when i finish my uni' or 'when the kids are grown' or 'when i lose 2kg or 10 lbs' zzz, well , until you decide to decide, you'll never make a step closer and you'll forever be watching the video instead of making it

Take a look at the reasons why you live vicariously through others and be sure that you are doing it for the right reasons, as a motivator in your own life, not as an excuse. then, live victoriously! =) 

6. Reflect. Give sometime to reflect

We often see the wrong of others and never have a single moment to think what we've done wrong. So many people never take the time examine themselves to see where they are making these life mistakes. So many mistakes done, but its not the end of the world. Allah knows our own struggle and acknowledge them, right? 

Examine your fears under a magnifying glass. Break them down and study all of the parts. How much truth is there really in each fearful thing? What are the odds that the fearful thing will come to pass? Leave no fear un-probed, until you become bored with fear. Become practiced at seeing fear as a weak and capricious companion, only useful when you are dealing with reality.

Life experience has taught us to put our head in the sand when we don’t like what we see. If things look unpleasant, if people let us down, if we fail to meet expectations — we spend precious energy finding ways to obfuscate, hide, deny, and pretend. The painful truth seems too scary to face, so we wear ourselves down trying to avoid it.

Adventure is optional. although Allah has great plans for our life, He won't make us take a leap of faith to go on an adventure with him. and remind yourself, even though you want to be fearless, be FEARFUL to ALLAH, Fear only towards HIM. 

Bismillah, may Allah make ease of our journey.