do you want to be a prisoner of somebody else's thoughts?

it is human nature to want to be liked and accepted. However, this often leads to people worrying too much about what others are thinking about them. This kind of excessive worrying can have a negative effect on your life. It can be so debilitating that it interferes with your ability to feel at ease with yourself and around others. and this prevent us from living life to the fullest potential.

Why should you not care about what others think?

1. Its not their life.

People are entitled to think whatever they want, just as you are entitled to think what you want. What people think of you cannot change who are or what you are worth, unless you allow them to. This is your life to live. At the end of the day, you are the only person who needs to approve of your own choices

2.You know what's best for you.

Nobody will ever be as invested in your life as you. Only you know what is best for you, and that entails learning from your own choices. The only way you will ever truly learn is through making your own decisions, taking full responsibility for them and that way if you do fail, at least you can learn wholeheartedly, as opposed to blaming somebody else

3. What's right for someone else may be completely wrong for you.

indeed, it's important to recognize that someone's opinion is often based on what they would do. This alone is a problem What is best for somebody else, can be the worst thing for you. What one person considers garbage can be another person's treasure. We are all so unique. Allah made us unique in our own way. Learn to know yourself. Only you know what is right for you.

4. It will keep you from your dreams

If you are constantly worried about what other people think, you will never get to where you need to go in life. You are going to have to do things that don't always meet people's standards. There's time where you'll come into situations where you have to put out your pride, and your reputation on the line to get what you want. If you're constantly worried about what people are thinking, you'll never have the will to do what's right

5. You're the one stuck with the end result!

In life, you're the one stuck with the consequences of your decisions. Eg, if someone suggests you some stocks, but you just don't feel right about that choice. If the stock falls and you lose a lot of money, you are the one who will live the consequences, you're the one that will have to live with the fact that you didn't follow your inner call, When people give you their suggestions or orders, there is no risk for them. They don't have to live with your choice, but you do!

6. People's thoughts change on a regular basis

We are constantly changing. Some philosophers and theorists suggest that we are in a constant state of flux, so much that we cannot even say we have one, specific 'self' or fixed personality. People's thoughts, ideas, views change on a regular basis. People constantly changing. Which means even if somebody does think badly of you at the moment, there is a good chance they will think differently in the near future. So basically, people's thoughts don't really matter

7. Life is simply too short

You have one life to live, only one! so why would you spend it worrying about other people's opinions? Do whatever you want, be whoever you want. You're not going to see these people after you're dead. You possibly won't even see them in a year from now. Live you life without worrying about other people's thoughts and opinion, and you will live your life to the maximum

8. Reap what you sow

Worrying too much about what other people think of you can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Frequently, people indulge their need to be liked so much so that it actually dictates to the way they behave. Come on dude! some people-pleasers or so submissive that many people are turned off. The behavior you use as an attempt to ensure you are liked may actually cause you to be disliked,

9.Others don't care as much as you think

People generally don't think outside themselves a great deal of time. it is a sad but simple truth, that the average person filters their world through their ego, meaning that they think about most things in terms of 'me' or 'my'. This means that unless who you are or what you have done directly affects another person or their life, they are unlikely to spend much time thinking about you at all

10. The hard truth, it's impossible to please everybody

dude, you can't please all of the people all the time. It is impossible to live up to everyone's expectations so there is no point in burning yourself out trying to do so. Just make sure that one of the people you please is yourself!

So, in a nutshell, the weight of other's thoughts can become a burden sometimes. this can inhibit you from living your life they way you've wanted, because your entire being (personality, thoughts,actions) are controlled by an idealized standard of what people want to see. When you become so obsessed with other people's opinion of you, you forget of your own. You can make a conscious effort to stop giving a damn to let yourself free! it's a skill that needs to be practiced, but once you truly understand how to let go, you will see the world as entirely different!

Once you give up catering to other people's opinion and thoughts, you'll find out who you truly are, and that the freedom will be like taking a breath for the first time.

You go girl!

Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down

Life is a series of calculated risks – nothing more. Everything that you decide to do has a margin of risk. No outcome is ever 100 percent certain and, therefore, any attempt at anything has a chance of complete failure. We risk everything, every day of our lives without knowing it. There is always a chance that walking outside will kill us.There’s a chance that we’ll never make it to our destination, a chance we won’t get to see our loved ones again, a chance that tomorrow will never come. 

Risk taking the road less traveled.

The road less traveled is a scary road to take. It hasn’t been worn in by previous footsteps, so getting lost is a cinch. The brush has never been trimmed or tended to, so you’re likely to get caught on a branch and stuck in places for a while.The roads less traveled haven’t yet been mapped out and, therefore, the only thing you really have to go on in hopes of reaching your destination is your intelligence, your logic, perseverance, and a bit of luck.However, the road less traveled has much richer plunders. You risk never getting there, but once you do, it’s well worth your trouble.

Risk getting turned down.

It doesn’t matter whether you are trying to get someone’s number or asking them to pass you a napkin – you’ll always meet that jerk who will refuse to even pay you any attention. Because we hate being rejected – our damn egos at it again – we often fail to even ask.More often than not, we get turned down not because of us, but because of the individual that is rejecting our request.If you don’t ask then you won’t be answered. If you don’t ask then you’re basically still getting answered no, but you yourself are moving any chance of receiving a yes

Risk failing.

Failing is both the worst and best thing that can happen to us. When you don’t fail, you succeed. When you do fail, you succeed at figuring out another way of not doing it – it just doesn’t feel quite as good.We too often allow our emotions to get in the way of logic. If you don’t risk failing, then you can’t succeed. Success requires risking failure – that is true 100 percent of the time.

Risk putting it all on the line.

If we do things right, there will be a time in our lives that we will have to decide whether or not we want to put it all on the line and roll the dice. The later you risk losing everything, the more difficult it will be to bounce back. The biggest rewards often require the largest risks. Just be smart about it and make sure you know exactly what you are risking and exactly what you would be getting as a reward

Risk missing out in order to achieve something greater.

We’re afraid that staying in and getting some rest will make us miss out on something huge – life changing. Think about this: You’ve been making sure that you haven’t missed out on anything for years, how many of those experiences actually made a positive change in your life?

Risk that person not saying “I love you too.”

No one wants to be the first one to say “I love you.” I get it – not hearing “I love you” back can suck. But imagine how great it will feel if that person does love you back. He or she is most likely worrying about the same thing waiting for you to make a move. And if that person doesn’t love you back, then at least you know where things really stand and can disillusion yourself.

Risk making a mistake.

Mistakes need to be made if you want to succeed in life – it’s how we learn. If you’re not making mistakes then you’re not trying enough things. In other words, you’re not living enough. Risk making those mistakes because they are the things that make our lives interesting enough to read about.

Risk losing friendships.

Friendships can be great, but they can also be very restrictive. Following our dreams usually involves quite a bit of solitude. Friendships make it very difficult to take the time that you need to get the work done that needs to get done. In my opinion, true friends should support you and your dreams no matter what.They should understand that you may have to distance yourself a bit more and then work together to keep the friendship alive – even if you don’t see each other half as much.

Risk not being good enough.

There’s always a chance that you won’t be good enough. But again, isn’t that something that you’d like to know? The fact is that you’re either good enough or not good enough. Often, when we think we are good enough, we actually aren’t.This is important information to have because it informs you how much more work you need to put in before you can succeed. But you will never know if you’re good enough if you don’t risk not being good enough.

Risk putting yourself out there and being judged.

We hate being judged regardless of the fact that we do it all the time and that we are being judged all the time. Everyone always judges – it’s what we humans do. Put yourself out there and be judged. Since you’re not selling yourself to everyone – most people won’t be a significant part of your life – most of their opinions don’t really matter anyway.

Risk admitting that you don’t know.

Not knowing is not something to be embarrassed about. There is a very fine line between knowing and not knowing. For example, one second I will know absolutely nothing about a topic and then two minutes later, after someone explains something to me, I instantly know something new.It’s crazy. And it only took a few minutes and not seconds. Knowledge is the easiest thing to accumulate, but only if you ask questions and risk admitting your lack of knowledge.

Risk opening up and being vulnerable

When it comes to relationships, opening up and revealing your full, true self is necessary. It’s a requirement of love I’m afraid. If you don’t open yourself up and make yourself vulnerable then your partner will never see the real you and therefore will never be able to love you for the real you.You have to risk it all to have it all. You have to risk giving yourself fully to the person whom you love if you want to experience the deepest level of love possible.

 Life is all about risks – you take some and you avoid others.The life you live depends on the choices you make, the risks you take, and how lucky or unlucky you’ve been. Depending on how lucky you feel you’ll most certainly want to avoid certain risks – like walking across a highway with a blindfold.

That effffff word

بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

'Don't fear failure so much  that you refuse to try new things.  The saddest summary of life contains 3 descriptions ; could have, might have and should have'    -Anonymous

that efffff word; Fear.

true that. Too often, we allow fear, worry, doubt to dominate and define our lives. We allow them to steal our joy, our sleep and our precious dream. so, I made up my mind, very young (25 is still considered young ok), that I would push forward no matter what.

If you want to know happiness and realize your dreams, you have to be willing to take a leap of faith, despite being afraid.

I am a girl with big dreams. I have so many things that I wish to do, I wish to achieve, I wish of so many things, my brain keep on manufacturing ideas, but deep down I fear of myself whether I could get to that point and achieve what I want. Too often we hold back and play it safe, in order to avoid becoming successful, feeling embarrassed, looking silly, being hurt and facing rejection or possible failure. and I have all that fear inside me. 

We cling to fear from our childhood, traumatic experiences and the negative media, eg movies and even the laughter of our own friends of how absurd and ridiculous our dreams or wishes. 

Now, I am struggling to acknowledge, face, dissolve and conquering my own fear! 

Strategies to GET THERE!

1.Be positive. it's magic!

Make it dominant in your mind. You can't live a positive life with a negative mind. Positive thinking is not about expecting the best to happen, but accepting that whatever happens is the best for that moment. so keep calm and stay positive!

2. Encouragement from my family and friends. 

Family can see the strength inside us when we forget that we have it. At my request, they don’t hesitate to remind me of all trials and triumphs we have come through. They’re generous with praise and encouragement.  and I have tons of supportive friends that I treasure. I know, even though some of them are distance away, whispering du'a and prayers is one way of how we get connected. 

 

3. Don't give time, attention, or energy to fear. 

Fear, its poisonous mind, which was once an appropriate reaction to real and present danger, is now the reaction to any imagined negative outcome. Fear is mostly a product of OUR OWN IMAGINATIONS, almost always without any true basis in reality. We fear failure. We fear success. We fear the future. We fear the past. We fear possible scenarios with only a shred of evidence to lead us there. The more we think about what we fear, the more we feed the fear. Then fear begins to control us, limit us, and ultimately overtake us. Stop it! Be fearless!

4. Get comfortable with fear

Invite fear into life. When fearing something, move toward it.  Feel it, and breathe through it. Do the things that frighten you. Action builds courage. keep reminding myself “This fear will pass.” Your world expands as your courage expands.

5. Live vicariously through the victories of other? No, from vicarious to VICTORIOUS LIVING! =) 

So, by definition , vicarious means, 'indirect, surrogate, substitute' , so whooo wants to live a 'substitute' life? You wanna live your own life right? 

Sometimes when i went through some fb photo comments, where people commenting ,'ohh i'm sitting here and live vicariously, through other people's adventure. I'm not saying that it's not good to say that;  IT IS GOOD IF you are inspired and get off the couch, and just go after what you want, or achieve towards what you wish to experience. But if you just sitting in front of your lappy without doing nothing, that is not it!

i love inspiration. I believe it is important to the human spirit, like vitamins and supplements, which are essential to the human body. But unlike food, we must be able to internally generate at least portion of our recommended daily allowance of inspiration. Depend too much on external factors and we soon become dependent and addicted to outside sources as a shadow substitute. 

“I’ve become inspired to have more adventure in my life, to get off the couch and go after what I want and live my life with gusto!”

I think i realized something in my life, something about the human experience. I think, specifically, we have a tendency to live through other people's stories rather that take the risk of having our own adventure. it implies to many expect. even in our journey of worshiping Allah.

It dawned on me that perhaps there are multiple reasons why people live vicariously. That perhaps there are good and bad reasons to do this. I have some reasons that implies in my life, my good reasons to enjoy the vicarious experience

...for example, 

- to be happy for someone else, - i have so many supportive friends who are always happy when i did some crazy stuff. and i am beyond happy if they do the same as well. Sharing the feelings of being on top of the world is just mesmerizing and wonderful. i am grateful to have these precious friends.

-you're not ready to do it coz it's too extreme, and there's no way i'm going to ever try that :: yeahh i have these kinda feeling when i watch this video ; 

Wingsuit flying ; giler tahap moksya

I completely admire the courage and their stupidity, (LOL) that drives these people to those extremes, but i know that i'm not going to do it anytime soon. I can enjoy a rush of adrenaline living the experience second hand, but not do it myself :P

-i physically can't do it. At this point in my life, i'm never going to be an Olympic gymnast or World Champion Badminton hahaha. Face the fact. i enjoy watching Lin Dan and Chong Wei on world stage, and Wong Mew Choo which is very known with her exceptional stamina, but face it Fatimah Zaharah, i am nowhere to that point. in my younger years, i didn't make the choice to dedicate my life to becoming an Olympian and the time has past for that but there's nothing wrong living it directly through the up and coming stars, right? 

All those a great reasons to enjoy vicarious living, as long as you don't spend your whole life living vicariously and never step out to you own adventurous life. However, if you live your life through someone else's eyes for some of the reasons below, you may want to stop and think about where you're going in your own life

FEAR?  hmm, back to the above points...

PROCRASTINATION? which probably comes back to fear in some sense. we used to say, hmm 'someday, or 'when i finish my uni' or 'when the kids are grown' or 'when i lose 2kg or 10 lbs' zzz, well , until you decide to decide, you'll never make a step closer and you'll forever be watching the video instead of making it

Take a look at the reasons why you live vicariously through others and be sure that you are doing it for the right reasons, as a motivator in your own life, not as an excuse. then, live victoriously! =) 

6. Reflect. Give sometime to reflect

We often see the wrong of others and never have a single moment to think what we've done wrong. So many people never take the time examine themselves to see where they are making these life mistakes. So many mistakes done, but its not the end of the world. Allah knows our own struggle and acknowledge them, right? 

Examine your fears under a magnifying glass. Break them down and study all of the parts. How much truth is there really in each fearful thing? What are the odds that the fearful thing will come to pass? Leave no fear un-probed, until you become bored with fear. Become practiced at seeing fear as a weak and capricious companion, only useful when you are dealing with reality.

Life experience has taught us to put our head in the sand when we don’t like what we see. If things look unpleasant, if people let us down, if we fail to meet expectations — we spend precious energy finding ways to obfuscate, hide, deny, and pretend. The painful truth seems too scary to face, so we wear ourselves down trying to avoid it.

Adventure is optional. although Allah has great plans for our life, He won't make us take a leap of faith to go on an adventure with him. and remind yourself, even though you want to be fearless, be FEARFUL to ALLAH, Fear only towards HIM. 

Bismillah, may Allah make ease of our journey. 

Pulun!!

ayah's magic word to boost me up

PULUN

Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun 

Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun Pulun 

ingat kejayaan tu jatuh bedepuk dari langit timah oi

teros utube ni nak sedapkan hati

puas?

Women

I am a woman in process. I'm just trying like everybody else. 
I try to take every conflict and learn from it

I'm a person who is open to experience each stimulus, freely relayed through the nervous system, without being distorted by any process of defensive

Be brave. take risk in everything you do
Nothing can substitute experience

To all women in the whole wide universe
May your shinny and enthusiastic spirit be with you, always!!!

Happy Women's Day
=)

#fighting!!