The most common question I have been asked in the past seven years living in Europe is “Why do you wear that thing?”
“That thing” is a headscarf.
I have never written anything personal on the subject of hijab because it seems like an overdone issue.
Sometimes I think so much focus is put on this one little aspect of being a Muslim woman, to the detriment of more important Islamic knowledge and practice.
Because the headscarf is such a visual symbol of the Muslim woman, many non-Muslims are the ones who make a large issue of it, spout ill-informed opinions, or ask questions in an attempt to understand. This has been answered to by so many Muslim women, and even Muslim men, that I did not feel the need to throw my opinion or feelings out into the fray.
My intent is only to give my own opinion and experience. I do not mean to be judgmental of those women who struggle with the issue of covering or to suggest that only one form of covering is acceptable. I can only tell you what I think and feel about the headscarf. If you want to know why someone else does not cover, or covers less or more fully than I, you would have to ask that person to share their experience with you.
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Raised in a Muslim family, I was brought up with the basic, fundamental principles and values that Islam infuses. I was taught to pray, fast, be kind-hearted, generous and to share the deen of Allah graciously with those around me. As a Muslim growing up amongst Muslims, Islam was my second nature. It was when I entered university that I realized I never really understood what hijab meant. I often thought that it was just a Muslim woman’s obligation to Allah (SWT), not understanding the true concept of it. I soon came to realize the hijab was the perfect outlet for women to seek liberation, respect and ultimate freedom from sexual harassment.
Like many people, there was a point in my life where I was at an all time low. My imaan (faith) was unstable and I contemplated removing my Hijab. Sometimes I felt that wearing hijab did not allow me to reach my true potential. The harder I tried to fit in, the more frustrated I became. I often felt that I couldn’t participate in certain activities in hijab and so this feeling had taken me down a road that I never want to travel on again.
When I look around today I see so many Muslim women excelling in diverse spheres of life - it would be silly and ignorant to think that you can’t reach your full potential as a hijabi woman. To my sisters who aspire to or have recently started wearing hijab and are facing any of the issues I did, my advice is make dua to Allah (SWT) and keep reminding yourself that hijab is your protection and beauty and you ARE just as beautiful if not more with it on. There is nothing sweeter and more fulfilling in this world than Islam and hijab. It is an honor for me to be a symbol of my religion with my appearance, and of course with my actions. I know it is the best for me to be modest in the way that Allah SWT wants me to be.
Besides the simple answer that I am Muslim and believe that the headscarf and covering are required in Islam, many people want to know more detail about why I actually wear it and what the purpose or point of the covering is, particularly if they know other Muslim women who do not wear it.
I cannot speak to why so many Muslim women do not wear it and what their state of mind or opinion on the matter is. I refuse to judge them for being in the stage they are in and I do not know what their personal circumstances may be. I can only answer to what I believe the purpose and benefits of my headscarf achieve.
1. Modesty. When dressed in a covering way, I am not showing my physical attributes (or perhaps lack of) to anyone. People are forced to judge me by my actions and speech, by how well I do my job or how I interact with others, rather than by whether or not I am “good looking” and interest them.
2.Wearing the head covering works to remind me of my duties. I am more likely to be a better person when I am covered because the headscarf is a potent reminder to me of what type of behavior and attitude is expected of me. I am less likely to lose my temper, more likely to be kind and forgiving, in difficult situations.
3.I am noticeably different, a Muslim. Most people respect that. They can clearly see that I am not the kind of woman that you whistle or cat-call at, nor am I going to agree to meet you in a bar or club, nor can you proposition me on the street or in the office. There is a level of respect that men give me whereby they do not treat me in the same way they might treat other women they meet and believe they can “get with”. In fact, in my case, I find that many men (yes, non-Muslims) are more gentlemanly with me in general. I have more doors held open for me, paths cleared for me, more assistance when needed, and an overall respect given to me.
4.To that same end, my beauty is then saved for my husband’s full enjoyment and he knows he does not share me with anyone. I am not out getting a lot of attention from others that may make him feel insecure or that is disrespectful to me.
I encourage any girl who is considering wearing Hijab to READ about it first. Read the actual verses in Qur’an and their Tafseer and talk to sheikhs or people who are knowledgeable in Islam. And if you wear it, wear it to make Allah pleased with you, not for anyone or anything else. I know that I am not a perfect Muslim, but I am striving to be a better one, and I hope that I will be one of the good examples of Muslim women. I will not lie and say that wearing Hijab is easy and that Shaytan has never played around with my head. People fail to realize that being from a certain religion or culture doesn't mean you don't have the same temptations, desires and feelings. There was anger, frustration and sadness, but in the end there was also confidence, liberation and peace. I discovered who I wanted be and how I wanted people to see me. The Hijab itself doesn't make me religious or make me do certain things while preventing me from others. To me, it’s a reminder to be a good person and it gives me confidence as a young Muslim woman. I realized that Hijab made me focus on my inner self more. Some people think that veiled women are oppressed, but I feel more empowered than ever, even though I did struggle to come to terms with it at first. Trust me; there is nothing the dunya (present life) can give you that Islam can’t.
In my experience, the hijab or headscarf is beneficial to me. Not only do I have the security that I am following a mandate set by God and thereby pleasing God, but I also experience great comforts in this life because of my coverage.
Contrary to what many think, I am not forced to wear it (I chose it for myself, I am not being forced by family to wear it), it is not an obstacle or a discomfort to me, and it does not in any way impair my opportunities or abilities.
I am an independent Malaysian woman with a high degree of personal freedom and fulfillment. The headscarf has never stood in my way of doing or achieving anything, but has instead made me more comfortable as I interact in society and my community.
p/s : this was a photo taken with my two beautiful friends, trying on Hijab, my dear Okaikor from Ghana and Rute from Portugal, during our trip to Budapest. I wish we could do this again!
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